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After my spiritual awakening with Ayahuasca and Acacia, I fired my therapist.
Why? Because after my time in Peru, it became abundantly clear that she had no idea how to help me integrate the deep mind-body-spirit experiences I had there.
The Surprising Reason My Therapist Couldn’t Help Me
Ironically, I had chosen her because she had sat with Ayahuasca herself. I thought that meant she would understand my experience. But as I prepared for my journey, I learned that her encounter with the medicine had not been a positive one.
"There was something wrong," she confessed. "It was too strong and overwhelming, so I didn’t complete the retreat."
After a 12-ceremony Ayahuasca Retreat in Peru, I realized—there was nothing wrong with the medicine or the experience. The truth was, she hadn’t been able to surrender fully. And when we resist the medicine, when we try to control our experience, we suffer. Such is life.
Ayahuasca and Acacia amplify the habit patterns of the mind—the same ones that run in the background every day. These plant medicines don’t just heal us spiritually; they make us conscious of the patterns that no longer serve us.
In labeling her experience as wrong instead of exploring why it was so difficult, she missed out on the medicine’s deeper lessons.
I Only Want to Learn from Teachers Who Have Integrated the Tools Themselves
At our first session after my return from Peru, I started questioning whether she was the right guide for me. More than that, I started questioning the model she was using—traditional psychotherapy rooted in Freud and Kant.
I’ll be brutally honest: my experience with psychotherapists and psychiatrists hasn’t been good. Some have left me in a worse state than before I started working with them.
My mother—who endured profound trauma in her youth—was heavily medicated her entire life. The system failed her. Instead of getting the deep healing she needed, she was judged, diagnosed, and pumped full of chemicals. The root cause of her suffering was ignored.
I grew up watching a woman who was deeply shamanically gifted be dismissed and pathologized. Society treated her as a nuisance when, in reality, she carried ancient wisdom that was never given space to be seen or understood.
What Did Freud and Kant Know About Psychedelics?
Now, as we enter this new wave of legal psychedelics in the West, I have to ask: why is the clinical and therapeutic model leading the charge?
Freud and Kant never took psychedelics. So why are we using their frameworks to develop psychedelic-assisted therapy and integration programs? It makes no sense to me.
Meanwhile, shamans have worked with these medicines for centuries. They don’t believe in illness—only imbalances. They journey into the spirit world to help us restore harmony between our minds, bodies, and souls. They guide us back to ayni—sacred reciprocity with the Earth. That is where true healing happens.
My time in Peru turned my rational mind inside out. I traversed the spirit world guided by icaros, the sacred songs of the shamans. These songs awakened something in me—something ancient. The shamans encouraged me to sing in my own ceremonies, even through the hardest moments.
Through this, I learned how to be a channel. A guide. A bridge between worlds. It’s been an immense gift, an honor, and a deep responsibility.
Why I Kept My Coach After My Ayahuasca Retreat
Strangely enough, I kept paying my coach—who cost twice as much as my therapist.
Why? Because her sessions were actually helping me.
She was trained in the CoActive Training Institute, just like I was. She was also mentoring me through my certification process.
Each session was a deep inner exploration. The CoActive model uses embodiment, visualization, and intuition—guiding people beyond the mind and into the felt experience of life. It helped me reconnect with the wisdom of my body, something traditional therapy never did.
Through this work, I became conscious of my shadow self—the subtle ways I was sabotaging my own life. I learned to connect with my Higher Self through an archetype, accessing ancient wisdom whenever I needed guidance.
Each session reminded me that I was naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. A stark contrast to the therapeutic model that sought to diagnose me and tell me something was wrong with my brain.
"But don’t worry—just take this pill for the rest of your life, and you’ll be able to cope."
My coach never saw me as broken.
She held space for my wholeness.
And because of that, I stepped into the bravest, softest, and happiest version of myself. It is an absolute honor to now hold that space for others.
An Integrative Spiritual Approach
In the years since, I’ve woven multiple models into my spiritual education programs—helping people deepen their insights from ceremony and accelerate their transformation.
These include:
✅ Shamanic wisdom from teachers across four continents
✅ Internal Family Systems (IFS) for psychedelic integration
✅ Somatic therapeutics like tapping and acupressure
The results speak for themselves.
Here’s what one of our members shared after working with me and attending a 3-day retreat:
"If you want to get the most out of this experience, I highly recommend doing the prep/integration sessions with Aria. Without them, my journey would not have been the same. These sessions are truly priceless! I had no idea what to expect, but I have gotten more out of them than I could have ever imagined.
Aria has helped me connect to the true essence of my soul and take that connection into everyday life. Through our work together, I have released inner child trauma, gained confidence, developed compassion for myself, received practical tools, clarified my priorities, and built a genuine friendship with her."
Your Integration Matters
The ceremony is just the beginning. True transformation happens in the days, weeks, and months afterward.
If you want to get the most out of your experience—and avoid the confusion and overwhelm that can follow—schedule an exploration call with me.
Your healing doesn’t have to be a mystery. You don’t have to do this alone.
Let’s integrate your journey—fully and powerfully.
About the Author
Aria Tau is a spiritual mentor, leadership coach, and psychedelic integration guide. After a transformative Ayahuasca Retreat in Peru, which kicked off a 5-year shamanic apprenticeship, she has dedicated to helping others navigate the depths of spiritual awakening, emotional healing, and embodiment.
Through her work at Sacred Waters Sanctuary, Aria combines shamanic wisdom, somatic therapeutics, and modern integration techniques to support visionary leaders on their path to wholeness.
Learn more about her work at Sacred Waters Sanctuary.
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